Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
