Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
