Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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