i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
