i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
