Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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