Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
