Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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