I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize