one two three fourrrrnication!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
