you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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