If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
