When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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