Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Farmville is her only friend.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
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