I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
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Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
All I want is dick and wine.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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