hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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