you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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