Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
