So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I still have a little drunk in my system
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
