Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Randomize
