I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
