All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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