I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
