I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
