haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
