but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
