I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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