I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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