how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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