It was confusing and full of hummus
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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