You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
