I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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