Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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