i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
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I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
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Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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