But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Randomize
