i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He shit in the fireplace
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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