She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
