Your dad touched me again.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
