your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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