His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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