Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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