Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I have aggressive nipples.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
