is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
