is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
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It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize