just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
