Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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