you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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