You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
