the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Drunk is a universal language darling
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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