I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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