DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
