if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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