I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
