READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Green mimosas i think yes
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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