I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
