we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Is it because I queefed?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
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What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
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max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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