He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
