Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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