party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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