also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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