I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
