the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize