you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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