I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
