He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
