I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
