Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
